"Welcome to my world, won't you come on in?" Well, if it was good enough for Jim Reeves, then it is good enough for me. The only problem I have is the fact that my world is so damn boring.
At least, I find it boring. Other people seem to find the contents of my life really amusing, "how could you possibly become bored?”, so, my only assumption can be that they have all lost grasp of their mental faculties, or, indeed never had any to begin with. On the other hand, maybe I have lost all grips on reality. This is my dilemma - is it me or them? And how the hell do I go about finding out? Tough one, that. I have tried before, but the question I always arrive at - “Who am I?” - just brickwalls me every time. That has got to be the toughest, most gristly, pondersome question of all time.
Genetically speaking, the answer is pretty obvious. But taking a more philosophical approach to finding out who or what is 'me', is just like that first overzealous bite into corn-on-the-cob - bleeding gums aside, you still have a burnt palate for days, and the one husk cemented between your front teeth is a constant reminder of your foolishness, making you wish you had momentarily been Terry Thomas. O.K. Enough of the light-hearted crap, yeah? Fine by me, mate. So, back to the irritating little question of who or what am I?
Quite a few years ago, I did the big 'self-help' book thing. Some of these books were genuinely interesting; made me think "Yes, absolutely!". Others just took things too far. Actually, it was not their content, it was the "...hang on whilst I think of an appropriate quote...” followers that made me cringe. You would know the titles: some smart ass probably gave you one when you were in bed with a cold. At least, that is what happened to me.
"This cold you are suffering from...", Heather warbled, "... is likely to be a kind of outer manifestation of something far more deeply rooted within you. Here's a copy of 'Every Single Imaginable Disease & It's Much Deeper Meaning' for you to read. It's completely changed my life!"
I desperately tried to seem excited; pinched myself to widen my eyes. But I just knew the story was about to follow...
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